Banana for scale...

As we well know, bananas are used for scaling purposes in many cultures, mainly because they are the most consisted form of measurement we invented to date. 




The question we will try to answer today is which kind of banana should we trust the most. Most of them will try to fool you, bribe you with their sweet and soft taste and even lie to you - yes - lie! Those bastards have no souls so lying comes naturally to them.

Bananas cannot be trusted my friend - remember that if nothing else

So how do we can figure out the truth you ask? Well.. we know we cannot ask a banana and we cannot measure one group of them against the other to gauge how the standard should look like It almost seems we are powerless - totally at mercy of the yellow assholes. Fear not thou! This truly dramatic situation will be resolved by the most hated enemy of the banana. 

What can we do?

Years ago our forefathers closely observed mother nature to calculate the perfect response to the banana conundrum. They had a dream that their children will live in more precise and standardized future, a future of greater potential and hope. Most of them did not survive to see the fruits... ( yes I fucking said it) the fruits of their work. 

But how do we...?

A ferret. Yes a ferret. In the past (long before the banana) people experimented with them as the standard size unit. There were few problems with that. Unfortunately ferrets have legs, which could potentially be useful for some tasks, but it got in the way of day to day upkeep.. they tended to run away, fast, really fast. Bananas on the other hand, as we are well aware, do not have legs, so each attempted escape we witnessed throughout the centuries was more of a mild inconvenience and embarrassment than anything else. 

They started revolting

Since all of the attempted escapes were somewhat ineffective bananas started to defend them selves in a different manner. At first the plan was to be sweater and softer, for whatever reason, and well.. to be frank, that did not go to well. Secondly what we observed was them trying to be more brown. Not sure what gave them that idea, but since they were still delicious and size was not affected by color change, we still used them without discomfort. I hear some of them are still known to try that old trick.

The final blow

When every other attempt failed bananas stared to mess with their own shape and size. That's when the problems started. We were not prepared and because all the manuals and technical specifications used the standard banana (SB) problems began. Bridges started to fall, buildings growing in cities were having unpredictable shapes - few of them remained to this very day.

  

We've adjusted.. but barely...

Today our best engineers are able to utilize keen eye and experience to offset the cruel distortion caused by common banana. This unfortunately takes time and training. That is why the ferret revolution started. Most of our high tech labs is working on the problem as we speak to bring the best ferret consumer experience possible. I was granted the privilege of testing the latest advancements in this technology, and I will be receiving beta measurement starting kit next week.

It will surely be the time of great joy and excitement, excitement I will share with you as well as provide a quick guide how to use a ferret on daily basis in most common home tasks.

We will finally beat them! Don't lose hope!